The Secret to Living Authentically

by Lakeshia Ekeigwe in Blog

DatePosted on September 06, 2017 at 11:00 AM
Share share

Have you ever wondered if you are living as authentically as you could be? Or better yet, have you ever wondered what that even means? If so, you are not alone.

To live authentically, you must know exactly who you are at a very deep level and honor that self-knowledge. You must know what you require to be whole, healthy and happy and what you can then offer to others personally and professionally.

(Learn more about this in my free ebook - 3 Huge Mistakes Women Lawyers Make & How You Can Avoid Them.)


Simply put,

"The secret to living authentically means you

must know your truth, needs & offer."


The word authentic is defined as 'not false or imitation: real; true to one’s own personality or character' and synonyms are 'genuine; being actually and exactly what is claimed.' 


So, how do you actually accomplish that?


The following are 3 powerful keys to living authentically.
 

1. BUILD A STRONG PERSONAL FOUNDATION

Having a strong personal foundation is comprised of many elements. However, I believe the most important element is to live by your own personal code of ethics. There are some things every person must know about their own personal character. Minimally, you must know what you can and cannot do and what you will and will not do. You must know your non-negotiables.

For example:

  • You cannot be a woman who claims to value integrity, honesty, and truth and yet arrogantly engage in behaviors that are reckless and deceitful, (like engaging in a secret extra marital affair.)

Then, on the opposite end of the spectrum,

  • You cannot exhibit a false sense of humility by playing small and muting your brilliance to make others feel comfortable in your presence (like keeping silent in important meetings when you know you have better answers and solutions but instead allow others to lead.)

Both scenarios ostensibly indicate a person living inauthentically, building on a weakened personal foundation.

 

2. ESTABLISH CLEAR AND SOLID BOUNDARIES

Your boundaries are born from knowing your personal needs and requirements. Your boundaries dictate how you require others to treat you, as well as what you require of yourself in the way you treat others. Some people view boundaries as a negative. In actuality, they are quite positive. People in your personal and professional life will always know what to expect from you, clearly understanding that you require reciprocity.

Clear and solid boundaries are a gift from you to others. They are a part of what you offer. If you require being treated with honor and respect, the expectation is you will do the same to others, no matter who they are: children, junior colleagues, the barista at Starbucks, your housecleaner. Your boundaries are how you dignify yourself and other human beings.

If you have weak boundaries, you are not living authentically.

 

3. ELIMINATE TOLERATIONS

Any way in which you are unhappy in your life likely centers around something or several things you are currently tolerating.

Tolerations are massive energy drains that leave you emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. You can never be the best of who you are when your energy is depleted. Tolerations diminish your brilliance and disconnect you from the things that energize and empower you.

Most people have anywhere from 50 to 200 things they are tolerating, i.e., work dissatisfaction, money stress, toxic personal or professional relationships, living in an area you don't enjoy, clothes that don't fit, a car that needs to be washed, etc. The list could go on and on and the things can be large or small and seemingly insignificant. But everything adds up and takes it toll.

The things you are tolerating will suck the life out of you, leaving you to feel stuck, frustrated and unhappy.

"You will never live a truly authentic life when you are tolerating things that disconnect you from your joy, passion, and brilliance."

If you are managing too many tolerations, you are not living as authentically as you could be.

Do you want to live a more authentic life, but don't know where to start? I can help!

In a powerful and transformational 90-minute intensive coaching session with me, I can help you create an action plan designed to help you take the next best steps toward living authentically and moving your life forward. Interested?

Email me confidentially at lakeshia@coachingattorneys.com or InMail me here on LinkedIn

 

Main photo credit: Aaron Burden

About the Author

Lakeshia Ekeigwe

Lakeshia's motto is, "I coach women lawyers to create lives they LOVE.

Based in the US, Lakeshia is certified as both a Life Coach and separately, a Mediator.  In addition, The Asian-Pacific American Legal Center have recognised her skills in Leadership Development, and Lakeshia is a long time member of Mensa.

Throughout her career spanning nearly 30 years, Lakeshia has had the privilege of working with and coaching lawyers in North America and around the world. Her work particularly focuses on female attorneys and helping them in both their career and life, through one-on-one consultations and webinars.  

To enquire about Lakeshia's coaching services, please email: lakeshia@coachingattorneys.com. In addition, you can find out more about Lakeshia on her website, www.lifeschoolforlawyers.com, and on LinkedIn

Have you downloaded your free copy of - 3 Huge Mistakes Women Lawyers Make & How You Can Avoid Them?

Read more Articles by this author

Search the Hub

Knowledge Hub Categories

SEE HOW STAR ANISE WORKS FOR YOU

News & Press

17.10.2017
Star Anise co-hosts legal employment seminar with Magic Circle law firm in Hong Kong
25.07.2017
New look website and jobs board launch for Star Anise legal recruitment consultancy
29.06.2017
Star Anise co-hosts Employment Law and HR seminar with Clifford Chance

Useful Links

Hong Kong Lawyer

Legal Publication for Hong Kong Lawyers

Labour Department Home Page

For details of Hong Kong employment laws

IRD Home Page

For personal income tax details