Your Internal Conflict: 3 Ways to Resolve It

by Lakeshia Ekeigwe in Blog

DatePosted on April 25, 2017 at 06:09 PM
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You are experiencing internal conflict about something in your life right now.  At any given time, we ALL find ourselves internally conflicted about something. 

Your internal conflict is on the back of your mind (and probably on the top of your heart) right now. It is the other thing you are thinking about this very moment, as you read this very article. 

Your internal conflict is probably a little painful. Like walking around with a pesky little pebble in your shoe. It is an irritation that will eventually become something you can no longer ignore.

You may be in conflict about a major life issue or significant lifestyle change. For example: 

  • You want to make a decision about your current role. Should you stay or should you go? Are you willing to risk what is comfortable for the unknown?
  • You need to set boundaries with a person in your life who constantly challenges your self-confidence or brings out the worst in you and you are in conflict about doing so. 
  • You want a healthier lifestyle but will you maintain the commitment?

Whatever internal conflict you are experiencing, there are 3 things you can do now to resolve it: 


You cannot resolve what you do not acknowledge. Sometimes we try to ignore and mute the internal dialogue our brain and heart wants to have with our mind. We often do so because, under our current circumstances, we may feel we don't have the time, energy, or resources to deal with the decisions or outcome that will rise up to the surface. So, instead, we push down the internal conversation we should allow to happen in order to acknowledge and resolve the internal conflict.

To resolve your internal conflict, you must honor the conversation your self-knowledge is trying to have with you. Treat your brain, heart, and mind like you would treat someone you love deeply. Listen intently and feel your way through what you may be trying to silence. Only then can you resolve your internal conflict.


Once you have had the internal dialogue about your internal conflict, write out every aspect of your concerns, even the seemingly trivial. 

Your internal conflict exists because something about it deeply matters to you. If it really didn’t matter there would be no internal conflict. You must get clear on what really matters. It can be easier to determine what is most important when you can actually 'see' on paper or a screen what you are thinking and feeling. Next, follow that by writing out a plan of action to resolve your internal conflict.


Internal conflict almost always manifests itself by engaging in or even initiating external conflict. You may find yourself having 'silly' arguments or heated conversations about things that are meaningless and unimportant. That’s your cue to heighten your self-awareness and stop ignoring that voice inside your head.

Unresolved internal conflict will drain your energy and rob you of the person you want to be. Your brain, heart, and mind are working overtime trying to work out a problem you are not consciously participating in.

Once you actively begin the process to resolve your internal conflict you might just be amazed at how much lighter you feel. I can assure you, clarity eliminates mental and emotional clutter and will leave you feeling happier and much more productive.  

If you would like to know how I work with women lawyers resolve internal conflict, email me confidentially here

This blog was previously published on the following media and is republished on the Star Anise website with the kind permission of Lakeshia:


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About the Author

Lakeshia Ekeigwe

Lakeshia's motto is, "I coach women lawyers to create lives they LOVE.

Based in the US, Lakeshia is certified as both a Life Coach and separately, a Mediator.  In addition, The Asian-Pacific American Legal Center have recognised her skills in Leadership Development, and Lakeshia is a long time member of Mensa.

Throughout her career spanning nearly 30 years, Lakeshia has had the privilege of working with and coaching lawyers in North America and around the world. Her work particularly focuses on female attorneys and helping them in both their career and life, through one-on-one consultations and webinars.  

To enquire about Lakeshia's coaching services, please email: In addition, you can find out more about Lakeshia on her website,, and on LinkedIn

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